As part of “The Three Grand Challenge” to raise funds for the Club through player events, Wally’s “Caped Crusaders” from the 3rds hereby issue a challenge to the 1sts, 2nds and Maidstone 5ths (Touring Team) to take them on in the HRFC Beer Olympics to be held on 18th April in the Clubhouse at 1830hrs. This to form part of the 3rds day out.
All other teams welcome.
This will take us back to our roots of record setting feats in some of the great traditional beer room sports.
By all accounts the 1950s and 1960s were dominated by one Ronald J(ohnny Weismuller) C(harles Atlas) Glasgow who set records for: bottle walking; lifting marble statues; and climbing farmhouse roofs. All whilst scaring the s$%t out of world class 10s such as Mike Gibson, Earle Kirton and Dai Watkins.
The 1970s were the setting for the practical jokes of Ronald Skea Esq, where few records were set, but we had some “hugely embarrassed members”.
The 1980’s were however our zenith in terms of records, who can forget:
1. The late Ian Willox’s world mark in bar diving, when he reached the seats on the other side of the small bar (He was the ex Scottish U16 swim champ but it was the stuff of Peter Pan)
2. Dobs Redpath’s 3 second pint, and three in 12secs, who was unbeaten until losing a “University Challenge” whereupon he retired from all competition.
3. Gavin Tully Jackson’s win in the freestyle: 20 one handed press-ups then staying in the one handed press up position whilst picking up a pint with his teeth and drinking it down in one.
4. Norman Morrison breaking the world record for human skittles whilst failing miserably at the broom race.
5. Davy “Popeye” George unbeaten against all comers at arm wrestling.
6. Neil (Mc)Butcher’s triple somersault and double back flip with pike, barefoot in his boxers down in the Neilson Park mud.
7. Keith Wallace’s speed and volume soup eating record at the 86 Captain’s dinner: six plates from the left before the guys on the right realised he was not passing it up.
The 1990s and Noughties have, frankly been our nadir, other than the odd outbreak of Pub Golf (not an Olympic Sport), so it is hoped some new champion will emerge.
· Is Davy George still unbeatable?
· Who is the new Dobs Redpath?
· Will all the tall dudes be strong enough to stretch further than RJC at bottle walking?
· Will John Mitchell win the belly dancing?
· Will Mo emulate his Dad at human skittles?
· Will anyone understand Harry at the end of the evening?
· Will anyone understand Harry at the start of the evening?
· Will there be enough beer to silence Clifford?
All this and more will be revealed on the night.
Pies, Pampers and Paramedics provided.
Bring your own rainwear.
Keith Wallace
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